Perfect Day for a Girl and a Boy

Perfect Day for a Girl 

8:30 Wake up in the morning to kisses & hugs
8.45 Light exercise
9:15 Take light Breakfast 

11:00 Take a sunbath
12:00 Lunch with best friend at a restaurant
1:30 Go for shopping
2.30 Run for boyfriend / husband
3:30 Spending time for facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner with boyfriend / husband

10:30 Make love
11:30 In deep sleep holding the pillow in her arms

Perfect Day for a Boy

6:45 wake up
7:00 Take a shower and massage
7:15 First Blowjob of the day
7:30 Reading newspaper, USA Today sports section
8:15 Ride into Limo
8:20 Head to Augusta National Golf Club
9:45 Half way to 18 holes in Augusta National Golf Club
11:30 Have Lunch [2 dozen oysters and 3 Heineken]
1.00 Second Blowjob of the day
1:15 Second nine holes in Augusta National Golf Club
2:10 Limo to Augusta Airport
3:15 At Nassau, Bahamas, fishing with all lady crew (topless). 

6:00 Third Blowjob of the day
6:45 Lear Jet return flight, enjoy a full body massage in transit
7:30 Have a shower

8.15 Watching CNN live coverage of resignation of Bill Clinton, Hillary and Al Gore in the same scandal [with graphical representation]
8.45 Have dinner at the Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz Filet Mignon (very rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) brutal cream, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Have Sex with 3 stunning girl from different countries
11:45 Whirlpool, steam bath and body massage by women (topless) and then final Blowjob and Sleep!!!!!!!!!!

Best Gift on 25th Anniversary

A woman wanted to give a wonderful gift to her husband on their 25^th anniversary and she went to a gift shop.

Woman, “Please show me some real lovely gift for my husband.”

Sales Man, “For how long have you staying together Ma’m?”

Woman, “It’s 25^th year.”

Sales Man, “Don’t mind…I thing divorce letter is the perfect gift for your husband!!!!!!!”

Strange Funny Pictures

Olympic Gold Medalist Husband

Three women were sitting and talking about their husbands and sex lives.

1^st Woman, "My husband is like as a champion golfer. He has been putting perfect shot for last ten years!!!"

2^nd Woman, "My husband is like a winner of the Indy 500. It feels like to enjoy several thousands exiting lap, every time we have sex!!!"

Then first two women asked the third woman about her experience with the husband.

She replied, "My man is like an Olympic gold-medalist in 100M"

Other two women wondered, "How so???"

3^rd Woman, "Every time we get into bed it takes only 40 seconds to finish it."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't Wear any Pants Under My Skirt

A girl goes out to play with friends only wearing a skirt. In the playground she meets a boy and the boy asked her to climb a tree.

Then the girl climbs up the tree and the boy just stands there looking up to the girl’s pant under the skirt.

After returning home she tells her mum about it.

Mum, "Oh my stupid little girl it’s nothing. He just stood there and watched your pants."

The next day same thing happened again and she got same answer from her mum.

But this time the girl replied to her mum, “You might feel proud for me mum because I tricked him today.”

Mum, “But how?”

Girl, “Today I didn't wear any pants under my skirt"!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy Funny Pictures Collection

Newly Married Couple Crazy Talk

Newly married couple in honeymoon and ready to make love for the first time-

Wife, “I have something to tell u before sex”

Husband, “Tell me honey, we're married now and you can share anything with me

Wife, “I am sorry but I have got flat chest”

Husband, “No way, I can’t believe it.”

And then the wife proved it by taking off her shirt.

Husband, “My goodness… I have never seen such smaller boobs, but I have something to say you too.”

Wife, “You can share it with me without any hesitation.’

Husband, “Well…I’m weighed like a baby".

Wife, “This is unbelievable, prove it.”

Then husband take off his pant

Wife, “Holly shit!!! I thought you said you were weighed like a baby???

Husband, “I am 7lbs 6ounces!!!!!!!!!

Man Have a Vagina for a Day

1. Immediately go for shopping to buy cucumbers and zucchini

2. For around 2 hours squatting on a hand mirror

3. Let's see if finally they could do the splits

4. Try to launch a ping-pong ball of 20 feet away, is it really possible?

5. Cross the legs without reshaping their crotch

6. Gather in a bar in less than 10 minutes before closing

7. Enjoy multiple orgasms non stop and still be ready for more

8. Go to a gynecologist for a pelvic test and ask to film it to see later

9. Pray to have breasts too

10. And finally find that damned G-spot

Funny Rainy Season Picture

Recognize a Nurse or Teacher or Air Hostess

How to recognize whether you are having sex with a nurse, teacher or air hostess?

Nurse always says, “Hold it tight and straight, it will not hurt.”

Teacher says, “Do this again and again until we get it fixed.”

And air hostess says, “Put it over your mouth and smell normally!!!!!!”

Never Trust a Shadow

Old Friend Frustrated on Married Life

Conversation between two old friends meeting after long time-
1^st friend, “How are you my friend?”
2^nd friend, “terrible…I was so happy with my wife for 25 years.”
1^st friend, “Then what happened?”
2^nd friend, “We married!!!!!!!!!!!”